=) fake or real?

i dunno liao.
getting such shitty results.
trying to put up a brave front all day long.
certainly tired me out.
that fake smile.
those real tears of genuine sadness and disappointment.
it seemed for a moment that no-one understood me.
absolutely no-one.

yes.
but im still aware of my frens around me.
thnx lots for ur encouragement.
but i think the only thing tt can really keep me gg on is
to get promoted successfully.
which desperately needs a miracle right now.

miracles have happened to me many times in my life.
the most recent one being me passing my grade 6 piano exam
taking into account the fact tt i went to cambridge for 2 wks.
i see that as a miracle.
another miracle was my 8 pts.
though i did dreamt of it,
i thot that was just an illusion that i wanted to see badly on my cert.
but no,
it became reality.

so there,
if my life has been full of miracles so far,
god,
please,
let me believe another miracle can happen,
and that i can be promoted successfully.
i dun wanna waste one year of my life lyk this.
i dun wanna regret for e whole year.
i dun wanna become a j1 again.
no way.
please spare me from tt never-ending cycle.
i promise,
that if im given another chance,
i will forgo anime for a month
(dun laugh! anime now is impt to me!)
but tt is if im given another chance.
just one more chance.
to prove myself.