maybe it's time for miracales

Saturday, November 14, 2009

6:10 PM

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO TKB N DARL! =)

geog, gp, math are done.

left with chem paper 2 (nxt tues),

bio paper 3 n chem paper 1 (23 Nov)

bio paper 1 (3 Dec)

the hurricane wk is over

sigh

mixed feelings though

am rly relieved tt its over

but then...

am also scared to look at the result slip nxt yr haha.

am scared i gonna get grades tt will get me nowhere.

am afraid of the uncertainty.

sigh.

am rly addicted to FB applications

Restaurant City, Cafe World, Farmville, Fishville n Rollercoaster Kingdom

damn

wish i hadnt started it lol

now keep having to chk constantly to keep things running smoothly

if only running these stuff was tt easy haha.

i wan go swimming!!!

and exercise till i drop dead from exhaustion haha

and start to learn how to play the guitar hehe

as well as learn drums if possible

omg im rly fat now =(

sigh.

omg so many ppl i wan meet up wif

so many things i wanna do

can't wait.

maybe it's time for miracles

8:55 PM

prelims are finally finally over

though i started slackin since last fri - -

haha

watched 'the ugly truth' wif kb last fri aft our bio paper ended

HILARIOUS TO THE CORE

we kept LOL-ing throughout the entire show

rather crude, as someone puts it,

but definitely an enjoyable one=)

went over to yh's hse on sat for bbq

met his cousins

how interesting!

it was like i cld rly 'click' wif them

though san being pri4 but i got along rly well wif her=)

o and her sis is rly like me LOL

laughing much and being in a cca which we dun look like haha!

btw yeah she's J2 too haha more in common!

gained 2 new frens now=)

sunday was our delayed 1.5 anniversary

of which much unhappiness surrounded it before sunday

but sunday turned out great=)

he surprised me wif a BLUE ROSE!!!

e first n last time he bought flowers was v day

so it was rly a pleasent surprise haha

not cos of e flower

but the fact tt he got a flower=)

could'nt find the white dress i wanted

so bought a v sweet white blouse instead 'beams

and that was his present to me

went to hv lunch at katong laksa

then head back to raffles city springfield

whr i bought for him the black collared shirt=)

looked abit small at first but man

i think he looks much gd-looking in black

(yeah yeah besides the fact that i do love looking at guys who wear decent looking black collared shirts, short/long sleeves. Makes them more dressed up and guy-ish, don't you think?)

went swensen's for dinner

then PS for 'the ugly truth' which, yes, i'm watchin again

cos i rly love how tt show makes me laugh n tt happy ending!

rly happy tt day=) and it marked an end to our unhappiness before=)

then fast forward to today!

math p2 was BEYOND BLEAK.

i guess this'll be the last time i'm failing math bah.

sighs.

went to AMK Lib for books then had budget lunch wif kb n jon

then we went to j8

passed by the mooncake exhibition hehe

saw loads of interesting flavours

wad wif blackforest (urgh tt was way too sweet =( )

champagne flavour (no sample for tt ='( )

and yeah many other weird flavours

then we shopped at nature republic

whr we each bought a bottle of nail polish

i bought omg light blue!? first of my kind

i'm usually into bronze or dark purple or mother-of-pearl

my first blue!

which i happily painted on my toe nails at home a few hrs ago=)

then watched 'gamer' wif kb

yeah its m18 no doubts abt tt - -

but e plot was pretty cool though

haha

cos i'm into such computer-game-turn-reality kinda stories

eg Givenchy Code - thumb's up for tt man!

haha

and the actor's the same as 'the ugly truth'!

o yeah Gerard Butler =)

am now engrossed in reading my lib books

until my hell comes back

and for 2mrw

besides gg over to his hse for swimming

i have at least 4 stacks of articles sitting on my mind

waiting for me to complete my index-ing.

urgh.

can't they even give us a break - -

random: LOVE MY NEW BLUE NAILS=))

tata!

maybe it's time for miracles

5:12 PM

finished gp prelim exam on thurs

damn

Recent advances in Science has reshaped our world. Consider the implications of this trend?

urgh.

horrible.

today marks the start of my real thorough revision

shall i highlight what i aim to complete within 9 days?

(starting from today, NOW.)

Bio: Read thru all topics notes n practice qns in at least 2 prelim papers.

Chem: Same. And complete tuition practice paper hmwk.

Math: Finish at least 2 practice papers.

Geog: Read thru all notes n look thru qns. And omfg jus realize tt i didn't plan for any geog consultation during sep hols.

oh, FML. how is that even possible within 9 f-ing days - -

unless i dun slp or eat

urgh.

/wrists.

my life now can be summarized in 1 word.

bleak.

sigh.

1.5 anni nxt wk.

but too stressed to feel tt excited abt it anymore lol.

shall go back to bio.

sigh.

maybe it's time for miracles

8:23 PM

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey, isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say you're fine, I know you better than that
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me

You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me?
You belong with me

Straight Through My Heart - Backstreet Boys

In the heart
Of the night
Where its dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor

I looked down
And my shirt's turning red
I’m spinning around
Felt her lips on my neck
And her voice in my ear
Like I missed you
want you tonight

Straight through my heart
A single bullet got me
I can’t stop the bleeding
Straight through my heart
She aimed and she shot me
I just can’t believe it
No I cant resist
And I can't be hit
I just cant escape this love
Straight through my heart
Soldier down(my heart)
Soldier down(my heart)

Thought I moved
More than on
Thought I could
Fool her charm
I really wanna go
But I cant leave her alone

Hear the sound
Of a love so loud
I just can’t, I just can’t
Ignore this feeling
Said she misses me
And she wants me
Wants me tonight

In the heart
Of the night
When its dark
In the lights
I heard the loudest noise
A gunshot on the floor

love these 2 songs!!!

man taylor swift is drop dead gorgeous!

sigh...

gp prelim 2mrw

die

why the hell am i still here?!

'runs off to continue reading aritcles

maybe it's time for miracles

8:53 PM

it has always been the case

that i must experiance the fear of losing smth

before i learn to treasure it

but as time pass

i slowly forget that fear

and take things for granted again

keep assuming that things must and will always go my way

according to what i want

what i imagine it to be

but reality as always

slaps me back from dreamland

to the present time

the present situation

it is, but a cycle

a seemingly never ending cycle

seriously, when will i ever learn?

i realized

there are different relationships in this world

not one relationship is perfect

it's just a matter of whether the problems

exist in a very obvious state or not

i have a confession here

as most ppl wld have known

we started off pretty sudden, pretty shocking

but... feelings not v strong honestly speaking

i'm quite certain its the same for him

judging from how he treated me at e start

but as time goes by

it was like the see saw tipping to one side.

it was not balanced.

they say

thr's always one party hu gives in more

and the other who receive more

regrettably, i belong to the latter.

i'm a little confused

not sure if maturity level can serve as

a reasonable explanation here

on the other hand, i'm not v matured myself

unconsciously,

small problems like this arise

with that, disagreements

and of course coupled wif

those buckets of tear water and heart ache

our cold war has never last past a day before though

and, while most ppl wld see as perfect and blissful

i ask myself - is this normal for a r/s?

often, i look arnd and the answer is no.

many tell me, dun compare

but i compare, because i wan to find the answers

to my questions

i wan to clarify all the doubts that i have

nevertheless, i have yet to find all the answers i need to know.

o yeah

nearly forgot

darl managed to book out from camp last sat nite

a pleasent surprise=)

he was supposed to stay in over the wkend

but yeah lucky him haha

met at nite, and sunday

went lib wif him kb n the sick goat to study

then went wif his family for dinner

they ordered crab! 'drools

but it wasn't tt fresh

enjoyed the time wif him though=)

his POP is in 3 days! =)

k gtg study for geog litho essay test 2mrw

which i hv a strong feeling i'm gonna fail again - -

tata!

maybe it's time for miracles

8:32 PM

'heels are like chocolate, except without the kg's.'

i know i'm supposed to be doing work now
so i'll make it short and sweet bah

am so glad this wk is over
this super hellish wk
so many things happened!
so many tests
and definitely
so many realizations and disappointments

had 4 tests on wed 2 for geog 2 for math - -
siao la the teachers
couldnt they like sort out such tt
everything is spaced out throughout the wk?!
urgh
but yeah basically screwed every test bah
sigh.
next wk got test every single damn day
crazy crazy
suddenly i can't wait for aft A's.

had a gd talk wif my close frens
haha
v v long nvr sat down n rly ask how's stuff wif
dear pig (or rather aunty amanda)
and of course
goat, his excellency n kb
v long nvr talk to pig le
even though we see each other in sch like 5 days/wk
we seldom talk due to erm geographical barriers?
hard to explain but ppl hu know the situation
yeah u know it.
hmm but i feel tt though we seldom talk
we're still close no matter wad
poured out loads to each other
2 hrs plus of talking is rly insufficient
hope we can continue our talk someday=)

ytd aft ndp celebration e 4 of us finally got tgt
went to orchard n ate fisherios
beer battered fish is yum!!!
then we walked all e way to borders jus to kill time
then rushed back to cine to catch G.I. Joe
or wad some baka puts it as
'G Joe - The Rise of Teh Bing' hahahahaha
aft e show we went to serangoon astons to eat dinner
then crossed over to chomp chomp for beancurd
nice beancurd!!! love e pearls=)
i guess there's this special type of happiness
that i always feel when i'm wif them 3
this unique warm happiness
that i nvr felt wif anyone except wif them
no, not even wif yh
tt's how special it is
i can't even rly put it in words to accurately describe it
but no doubt
it's always felt when i'm wif them
perhaps it's cos of all e stuff we've been thru tgt
all those times

one of my realizations is, however, and most unfortunately
is tt i rly suck as a fren.
i know, they're impt to me, close to my heart
but my actions always speak otherwise
my life, i admit, has changed wif him arnd
so did my actions
but rly
ultimately
i can nvr choose btwn both of you
i suppose i am selfish enough
to want 'the best of both worlds'
but it seems to cause displeasure on both sides.
nevertheless
i rly am trying my best to strike a balance btwn both
pls, give me time so i can learn from my mistakes.
n to my dear frens
thank you, for still considering me as a fren despite of
all the flaws i have
thank you=)

darl booked out on thurs nite n came over
to my hse for supper
though i was feeling a little unwell
mum prepared herbal chicken for him
lucky him=p
but yeah 2hrs is nvr enuf
always find it so hard to let him go
but in e end i know i have to.
darl's booking out tonight though
arnd 10 or 11 plus at nite
tomorrow can meet le=)
but he wun be coming out nxt wk though
in other words when he book in on mon nite
e nxt time we meet will be 10 days later
almost reminds me of BMT
jus when i thought tt period was over
seems like it nvr will be.
i rly nd to start learning,
learning how to let go
learning how to be strong
most importantly
learning how to balance
btwn frens n him
btwn him n studies.
hope i can pull thru tt 10 days
cos in uni, thr's overseas exchng prog which last more than jus a mere 10 days
can stretch over 6 months
so 10 days is rly rly the min.

jiayou to everyone,
and god help me.

'when we grip sand in our palms tighter, it flows out through our fingers faster'
so i guess i rly shld learn how to let go?

maybe it's time for miracles

6:04 PM

k am finally updating le haha
since it's been dead for so damn long

been pretty busy
tryin to catch up in hmwk n revision
hvt officially started rev
except maybe for bio p3?
which our bio teacher kept getting us to practice
i rly find doing papers more useful
so we can know wad we need to read up on more n clear our misconceptions=)
hvt cleared all tutorials
gonna finish up at least half of chem grp2 tut and start on geog hmwk n gp
urgh
one pile accumulated again - -
it doesn't ever seem to stop, does it?
but i suppose barring myself frm gg out was a gd thing
at least i completed bio NJ paper3 ytd
happy=) tt i'm finally doing some work on a sat - -

kb's sick =(
not sure if she got frm me
but she's got cough n stuff
so we didn't swim on fri
instead we went out wif sophia, airu n maureen
DAMN FUNNY LA THEIR CLIQUE!
all e gossips n jokes rly kept me laughing all e way hahahha
haha we went to MOF on fri to eat ice cream dessert
SUPER SUPER NICE!!!
for the first time in dunno-how-many-yrs
i finally tried ice cream tt wasn't choc flavour LOL
their hokkaido red bean paste is paradise man!
so is their soft serve vanilla ice cream
i'm definitely gg bk for more nxt wk=p
maybe i'll try psycho-ing kb n pig theyall nxt wk aft lessons
on fri go eat thr again=p

i'm feeling fat n lazy urgh
pretty sure tt i've gained weight
considering all the ice cream tt i ate on fri
aft MOF in e aftnn me n darl went haagen daz
so u can imagine...
it was 2 scoops of choc ice cream plus brownie
*but i didnt touch the brownie hor
sigh
i rly think i've got worms in my stomach
rly been eating alot this past wk - -
sigh

so as seen above
i met darl for supper on fri nite aft he booked out
yep haagen dazs
wanted choc fondue but aft we saw e price ..........
it was a f-ing 42 bucks
wth la
i remember last time e menu said serve for 2 n it was 28 only
WL
now it looks like it serves four - -
was telling darl ask his bro n v along double date LOL
but rly the price is ...
darl came down on sat late morning
haha
then both of us n my family met outside for lunch
b4 he pei me go for tuition
now, thr's rly a great chg here
he used to complain abt public transport fares being ex n stuff
but now he's willing to take e bus to n fro
can see tt army rly causes maturation of guys rofl
but yeah nevertheless am happy tt he chg for e btr =)
he followed me home n stayed for a while b4 zhao-ing off
to join his family n relatives for dinner
was supposed to go wif him but since i barred myself...
the least discipline i had to hv was to stay at home during the wkend
so there.
he came down again today now earlier arnd 10 plus in e morning =)
did abit of electrochem tut b4 leaving for lunch
ate at j8 subway
THE NEW CHEESE STEAK IS YUM!
then we bought seaweed shaker fries n beancurd home
urgh ate so much
not to mention aft tuition ytd we oso bought
korean jumbo sausage n tako pachi
seriously am fat now =(
came home n he went thru my math papers wif me
sigh
seems like i cld hv passed
its all careless mistakes
i know e approach de...
but mistakes here n thr made me felt less confident of my ans
hmm maybe tt's why mr lee still has confidence in me? i hope?
no matter wad
now tt i know whr my mistake is
i'll try my best not to make e same mistake again
well, tt's e least i can do for now i suppose.

sigh.
prelims coming soon
i... rly don't know if i can pull thru
n get the grades tt i wan
the days left to nov9
rly starts to make me wonder
is it rly possible? can i do it?
can i follow my dream n get a place in NUS, in the course i wan?
i guess my ans wld always be the same.
i can, i need, i must.
hope this wld be my strongest motivation for the last lap of abt 4 months.

focus is my key to success now.

maybe it's time for miracles