it has always been the case

that i must experiance the fear of losing smth

before i learn to treasure it

but as time pass

i slowly forget that fear

and take things for granted again

keep assuming that things must and will always go my way

according to what i want

what i imagine it to be

but reality as always

slaps me back from dreamland

to the present time

the present situation

it is, but a cycle

a seemingly never ending cycle

seriously, when will i ever learn?

i realized

there are different relationships in this world

not one relationship is perfect

it's just a matter of whether the problems

exist in a very obvious state or not

i have a confession here

as most ppl wld have known

we started off pretty sudden, pretty shocking

but... feelings not v strong honestly speaking

i'm quite certain its the same for him

judging from how he treated me at e start

but as time goes by

it was like the see saw tipping to one side.

it was not balanced.

they say

thr's always one party hu gives in more

and the other who receive more

regrettably, i belong to the latter.

i'm a little confused

not sure if maturity level can serve as

a reasonable explanation here

on the other hand, i'm not v matured myself

unconsciously,

small problems like this arise

with that, disagreements

and of course coupled wif

those buckets of tear water and heart ache

our cold war has never last past a day before though

and, while most ppl wld see as perfect and blissful

i ask myself - is this normal for a r/s?

often, i look arnd and the answer is no.

many tell me, dun compare

but i compare, because i wan to find the answers

to my questions

i wan to clarify all the doubts that i have

nevertheless, i have yet to find all the answers i need to know.

o yeah

nearly forgot

darl managed to book out from camp last sat nite

a pleasent surprise=)

he was supposed to stay in over the wkend

but yeah lucky him haha

met at nite, and sunday

went lib wif him kb n the sick goat to study

then went wif his family for dinner

they ordered crab! 'drools

but it wasn't tt fresh

enjoyed the time wif him though=)

his POP is in 3 days! =)

k gtg study for geog litho essay test 2mrw

which i hv a strong feeling i'm gonna fail again - -

tata!