got back all my papers le

but didnt take gp n bio cos was sick

still had to sit for bio structured qns as a timed prac

totally died on tt man

gp's coming up soon this wk

sigh.

failed everything so far

feeling kinda...

i dun rly know how to describe

sad definitely cos thru-out my entire jc life

i keep failing n failing

but kinda expected though

considering the fact tt i didnt put in much effort esp math

which earned me tt pathetic result

i nd to stop shunning math jus bcos its my weakest n start practicing =(

only 8 wks to prelims

4 months to A lvls

seriously how the heck am i gg to survive during this last lap?!

rly feel hopeless at times

but somehow

i always manage to squeeze out a smile and say

'everything's gonna be okay'

maybe i shld stop decieving myself

obviously everything's not gonna be okay from the looks of things now

unless i'm gonna give my full for the remaining time

wish i had tt kind of motivation for O's

tt kind of thinking tt nth mattered more to me than getting the grades tt i wanted

been also thinking

i shld also start to cut down e time tt i go out

as well as slack

increase the time for completing hmwk n most importantly

studying

but

rly hard for me to

since most of e time when i go out

it's always wif yh

n now tt his 6 wk stay in course started

it also means i only get to meet him on wkends

which is already painful enuf for me

kor told me

'you alrdy survived tekong, now sure can la'

but rly,

jus bcos i survived one lvl of hell doesnt mean i can for e subsequent lvls

sigh.

also worried for kb

looking at her today...

i guess now's a rly bad time tt we hv to pull thru tgt

jiayou bah!

i want to find back my motivation

i must find back my motivation

i need that motivation

desperately.

god help me.