FOCUS!

k am finally updating le haha
since it's been dead for so damn long

been pretty busy
tryin to catch up in hmwk n revision
hvt officially started rev
except maybe for bio p3?
which our bio teacher kept getting us to practice
i rly find doing papers more useful
so we can know wad we need to read up on more n clear our misconceptions=)
hvt cleared all tutorials
gonna finish up at least half of chem grp2 tut and start on geog hmwk n gp
urgh
one pile accumulated again - -
it doesn't ever seem to stop, does it?
but i suppose barring myself frm gg out was a gd thing
at least i completed bio NJ paper3 ytd
happy=) tt i'm finally doing some work on a sat - -

kb's sick =(
not sure if she got frm me
but she's got cough n stuff
so we didn't swim on fri
instead we went out wif sophia, airu n maureen
DAMN FUNNY LA THEIR CLIQUE!
all e gossips n jokes rly kept me laughing all e way hahahha
haha we went to MOF on fri to eat ice cream dessert
SUPER SUPER NICE!!!
for the first time in dunno-how-many-yrs
i finally tried ice cream tt wasn't choc flavour LOL
their hokkaido red bean paste is paradise man!
so is their soft serve vanilla ice cream
i'm definitely gg bk for more nxt wk=p
maybe i'll try psycho-ing kb n pig theyall nxt wk aft lessons
on fri go eat thr again=p

i'm feeling fat n lazy urgh
pretty sure tt i've gained weight
considering all the ice cream tt i ate on fri
aft MOF in e aftnn me n darl went haagen daz
so u can imagine...
it was 2 scoops of choc ice cream plus brownie
*but i didnt touch the brownie hor
sigh
i rly think i've got worms in my stomach
rly been eating alot this past wk - -
sigh

so as seen above
i met darl for supper on fri nite aft he booked out
yep haagen dazs
wanted choc fondue but aft we saw e price ..........
it was a f-ing 42 bucks
wth la
i remember last time e menu said serve for 2 n it was 28 only
WL
now it looks like it serves four - -
was telling darl ask his bro n v along double date LOL
but rly the price is ...
darl came down on sat late morning
haha
then both of us n my family met outside for lunch
b4 he pei me go for tuition
now, thr's rly a great chg here
he used to complain abt public transport fares being ex n stuff
but now he's willing to take e bus to n fro
can see tt army rly causes maturation of guys rofl
but yeah nevertheless am happy tt he chg for e btr =)
he followed me home n stayed for a while b4 zhao-ing off
to join his family n relatives for dinner
was supposed to go wif him but since i barred myself...
the least discipline i had to hv was to stay at home during the wkend
so there.
he came down again today now earlier arnd 10 plus in e morning =)
did abit of electrochem tut b4 leaving for lunch
ate at j8 subway
THE NEW CHEESE STEAK IS YUM!
then we bought seaweed shaker fries n beancurd home
urgh ate so much
not to mention aft tuition ytd we oso bought
korean jumbo sausage n tako pachi
seriously am fat now =(
came home n he went thru my math papers wif me
sigh
seems like i cld hv passed
its all careless mistakes
i know e approach de...
but mistakes here n thr made me felt less confident of my ans
hmm maybe tt's why mr lee still has confidence in me? i hope?
no matter wad
now tt i know whr my mistake is
i'll try my best not to make e same mistake again
well, tt's e least i can do for now i suppose.

sigh.
prelims coming soon
i... rly don't know if i can pull thru
n get the grades tt i wan
the days left to nov9
rly starts to make me wonder
is it rly possible? can i do it?
can i follow my dream n get a place in NUS, in the course i wan?
i guess my ans wld always be the same.
i can, i need, i must.
hope this wld be my strongest motivation for the last lap of abt 4 months.

focus is my key to success now.

got back all my papers le

but didnt take gp n bio cos was sick

still had to sit for bio structured qns as a timed prac

totally died on tt man

gp's coming up soon this wk

sigh.

failed everything so far

feeling kinda...

i dun rly know how to describe

sad definitely cos thru-out my entire jc life

i keep failing n failing

but kinda expected though

considering the fact tt i didnt put in much effort esp math

which earned me tt pathetic result

i nd to stop shunning math jus bcos its my weakest n start practicing =(

only 8 wks to prelims

4 months to A lvls

seriously how the heck am i gg to survive during this last lap?!

rly feel hopeless at times

but somehow

i always manage to squeeze out a smile and say

'everything's gonna be okay'

maybe i shld stop decieving myself

obviously everything's not gonna be okay from the looks of things now

unless i'm gonna give my full for the remaining time

wish i had tt kind of motivation for O's

tt kind of thinking tt nth mattered more to me than getting the grades tt i wanted

been also thinking

i shld also start to cut down e time tt i go out

as well as slack

increase the time for completing hmwk n most importantly

studying

but

rly hard for me to

since most of e time when i go out

it's always wif yh

n now tt his 6 wk stay in course started

it also means i only get to meet him on wkends

which is already painful enuf for me

kor told me

'you alrdy survived tekong, now sure can la'

but rly,

jus bcos i survived one lvl of hell doesnt mean i can for e subsequent lvls

sigh.

also worried for kb

looking at her today...

i guess now's a rly bad time tt we hv to pull thru tgt

jiayou bah!

i want to find back my motivation

i must find back my motivation

i need that motivation

desperately.

god help me.