darl didnt managed to come out
cos he got caught by his officer
brought his hp to field camp
so he cldnt come out for e wkend

when i first heard
i felt extremely shocked n disappointed
shocked cos he didnt tell me he was bringing his hp
otherwise i swear i wld hv stopped him
disappointed cos
tt sat was all i ever kept looking forward to
the anticipation
all my hopes
was dashed on tt very day

cried alot
but kor called n consoled me
so im much btr now
darl n me went thru quite a difficult time
i think tt sat was e most heart-wrenching period
for both of us
everything was like on e verge of breaking point
i was sick of being disappointed n hvin to cry so much over him
he was afraid tt i'll choose to leave him
but we got everything sorted in e end=)
thank god for tt.
we both realize we needed each other ultimately


shall look forward to nxt sat then
i nd to jy for this wk
bio spa n chem test
gambatte!


'any moment, everything can change' - Hilary Duff

today's e day!!!
finally finally finally =)
dunno wad time's darling gonna be out though
haha
but anyway got chem tuition
so can only meet him aft my tuition

haiz
my cough's rly bad
this morning wake up sexy voice ROFL
i wan my voice back!
urgh
maybe cos these few days
keep consuming cold drinks
LOL
but frankly
when i hv bad coughs
i dun care
zhao yang take de
tkb u oso not supposed to take cold drinks!
LOL
must refrain man
otherwise i'll be left wif sign language
to communicate wif ppl=p

wl so much work over e wkend
siao one
haiz
plus nxt mon bio SPA
final one le!
n chem common test on fri =(
jiayou jiayou!
aft nxt wk then can take a breather=)

lookin forward to seeing darling later!
tata!

"Someone's Watching Over Me"
Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart
-I know you're watching over me=)

4th day is over!
yeah 2 more days only!!!
damn happy
today mr h not here=(
but mr b took over
haha he damn funny too but oso stress ppl out sia
timed prac was bad
i dun think i can fare well for this time haiz
o ya pig terence kb n me got take funny vid
we remaked the advertisements on tv la
ROFL
hilarious
laugh until beng lmao
got the M1 adv, the gambling one n magnum - -'''
rly damn super funny omg hahahha
we shld go sign up wif mediacorp liao hahhaha
aft pe went subway wif pig n kb
haha nice!!! and cheap =p
bought bubble tea too=)

got yearbook today too
saw darling's photos
got 2,
one in math superteam
one in class
haiz
miss e times when u were still in AJ
miss e times u waited for me (vice versa)
miss e times we looked forward to breaks
miss e times we hang out during breaks
miss e way u look in sch uni
miss your hair!!!
wahahahha
last time keep saying darl's hair ugly
but now haha no comments la hor? =p
appreciate e past now
though i know its impossible to return to it

haiz
still no motivation to do work
and i hv a list of to-do's:
-approx tut
-respiration tut
-geog essay outline
-carboxylic tut
-nitrogen cmpd tut
*study bio SPA!
*study for chem test on fri!
a whole mountain of work
and i dun feel like starting at all
man
darling hurry come bk
i nd my motivation pls
god help me. rly.

2 more days!!!

its end of 3rd day
i'm dying
LOL
wonder how's he doing
hmmm
but i guess lucky me at least got frens arnd me bah
though they dun rly talk much abt him
maybe dun wan me get too distracted missing him bah
haiz

our class clique...
haiz
rly dunno wad to do now
i'm practically forced to take sides
frankly
it seems kinda childish
u know the i-dun-friend-you thing?
wahlao
we're like how old le
seriously
in JC still got this kinda stuff rly hilarious
haiz
but reality...
totally sucks la
rly sick of this liao
sum1 pls advise=(

miss darling=(
got so many things wanna tell u
not sure if can remember until sat though
life completely and entirely without you
makes 6 days feel like 6 lifetimes
everytime i think of you
the pain sets in
the tears start to flow unknowingly
the sadness gushes out with no prior warning
i hate the emptiness
i hate the loneliness
i hate life without you
its like i can't do anything right when you aren't arnd
can you hurry come back please?
haha
since when did you turn me into such a dependent person?
i rly don't know

wan watch angels and demons!!!
hv been waiting to watch for damn long le!
hope maybe can watch with darling nxt wk bah
i guess when he come bk on sat he'll jus collapse on e bed
from exhaustion
maybe when i go see him on sat he'll be sleeping 99.9% of e time
hahaha
your video and msgs is not making me feel btr
it makes me miss you even more=(
miss you alot alot alot.......

3 days more...

its 1st day of field camp
woke up at 8 (set alarm)
went bk to slp until 11
then slack slack slack all e way until like 2
just can't seem to get myself to focus
but i did finish bio evolution tut
gonna start on 3 newspaper articles soon
i promise

i'm not myself today
forced myself to not think of him
when i was slacking
i forced myself to shut him out of my mind
watched youtube vids dl music
anything
except him
but somehow
when i look arnd
everything i see reminds me of him
our pullout bed
the chair
the dining table
the kitchen
the cup he always used
the shirt n shorts i lent to him last sat
which are now hanging dry on e clothes line
everything brings back all the memories

you told me to be strong b4 u left
i rly am trying...
but its hard
so difficult
cos practically everything tt i see
reminds me of you
when i close my eyes
i see nothing but you
but its a gd thing though
at least you're there with me at night
when i sleep
when i close my eyes
you're in front of me
and so i look forward to every night
you're my motivation=)

29 days to POP!
darl says thr's gonna be grad nite for them
and he says he's bringing me along=))
o yeah smth to look forward to haha
new dress!!! =p

kk back to work
will keep myself occupied in e day
my night is reserved for you darl
gd nite and rest well darl=)

5 days more! GAMBATTE!

its been abt 4 wks
but this 4 wks seemed as if
half my life has passed by
i learnt n changed so much during
this short span of time
selection pressure: NS

yeah it seems pretty ridiculous
i mean
i'm not even serving NS
haiz
regrettably though yh is
or maybe not.

well, one thing i can say is
our relationship sure became stronger
i remember vividly
the first 2 wks of confinement
those phone calls tt lasted avg 15 mins
tt was rly a huge jump from the 2hr phone calls
we used to hv b4 he went in
it was rly hard for me at tt time
trust me
you hv no idea how much i cried during
the first 4 nights
because at tt time i realize
at night
he wasn't physically thr anymore
no more complaining over e phone
no more mindless gossip
when i pick up e phone
i go straight to e pt of what i want to
say to him
no stammerings
no hesitations
and definitely
no crying
cos i figured out crying over e phone
is just a wastage of our precious time
every single minute
perhapes even second counts

yeah i do cry lesser nowadays
partly cos of the fact i forced myself
to adapt to this new life
life without him during the wkdays
the tears has somewhat dried up already
but thr are of course some breaking pts
afterall i'm still human
i do feel lonely
i can't be 24/7 strong
thr were certain factors tt accumulated
and pushed me to my breaking pt last mon
it was terrible
i cried
and i made him cry n worry
which ultimately made me even more sad
but we talked thru
we both felt
tt our relationship is strong enuf to
overcome these factors
and so problem solved=)

he's gg on field trip nxt wk
which means
5D4N no phone contact at all=(
i dunno how the hell am i gg to survive nxt wk
loading myself wif work n chionging finish my tutorials
seems like a pretty gd solution
hopefully tt 5 days will quickly pass by painlessly
pray tt the tears n breaking pts will not come during tt period
pray tt i will be strong enough
pray tt i will survive.

kb jus reminded me ytd
cos now my wkends are totally spent on him
i dun even do my work on the wkends
which i used to
which means
i gotta start making full use of my wkdays to chiong
my work
since i'm spending my wkends wif him already
haiz
mus stop taking long naps le
now the schedule is so tight!
i'm starting to feel tightness n suffocation
but i'm still not taking much action - -
hope i dun nd mid-yrs as a wake-up call man

to darling
jiayou for your field camp
when it's over you only hv abt half the
journey of ur BMT to complete!

to myself
gambatte!
you'll hv more than just 9 wks in battle
i'll be needing more of perseverance
less of weakness n vulnerability
god help me.